Is This Love?
by Summaiya Mahmood
Summary: TEMPORARY HIATUS
1. Utter Mortification

A/N: This is my first fanfic so go easy on me people! Please review to let me know if I should add another chapter and continue or if I really suck. I would really appretiate it!

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I let out another sigh as I tried to focus on the wall of my classroom. It was another twenty minutes until

lunch which meant another twenty minutes of calculus. I had never really hated school but calculus was

the one class I dreaded. I had managed to scrape past last semester but I was sure I wouldn't be that

lucky this time. Good luck tended to avoid me most of the time. But then again if I had to pick the class I

hated the most then I would pick gym as I was an accident waiting to happen when I was on my feet.

The teacher looked at me as though he knew I wasn't listening so I sat up a little straighter in my seat

and tried to focus again.

Finally the bell rang which meant that I had survived calculus, at least for today. I dashed out of the

classroom grateful that lunch had finally come which meant that I would get yet another glimpse of

_HIM_. Edward Cullen. The guy I had a crush on since I started school here a year ago and who I knew was

_way_ out of my league but these brief glimpses of him somehow made everything more bearable.

I had moved here to live with my dad Charlie when my mom married and though I missed her like hell I

was not ready to go live with them. My best friend Alice Brandon was standing outside the classroom

waiting for me.

"Wow, you survived another day of calculus." She knew how much I hated it and even if she didn't it

was clearly written on my face whenever it was mentioned.

"Just barely."

We started walking towards the cafeteria. I could feel the excitement coming off Alice in powerful waves.

She had a huge crush on none other then Jasper Whitlock, Edward's best friend. Saying that she had a

crush on him was putting it mildly. She was down right crazy about him. They both barely even knew

each other but being as gorgeous and perky as Alice was it was only a matter of time before she caught

his eye. As soon as we crossed the door of the cafeteria Alice began searching for her destiny, her words

not mine.

As usual I wasn't looking where I was going. The result? I walked right into someone. This wasn't the first

time I had done it but it didn't make the prospect less of an embarrassment. I stumbled to the floor but

two strong hands caught me. I turned beet red and looked up at the most dazzling green eyes I had ever

seen. I would know those eyes anywhere, they were _HIS _eyes. I forgot how to breathe and couldn't move a muscle. I just kept on staring at him

like an idiot. I heard Alice clear her throat and I came back to reality. I quickly looked down, muttered an apology and hurried over to our table. I

had suddenly lost my appetite. Today was just not my day.


	2. Note to self Hate Alice

**A/N: Hey everyone. So this is the second chapter. I hope you enjoy it and please review.**

I was still scolding myself inside my head for just staring at him like a complete idiot when Rose my other

best friend came to sit with us with her long term boyfriend Emmet. Some people might think that

Rosalie would be shallow and stuck up but she was actually really nice.

I couldn't see Alice anywhere but I was sure that wherever she was it had something to do with Jasper.

Her mysterious fixation to him was really a mystery. She had never had a crush on anyone always

claiming that she had yet to find her 'type' as she put it. I guess Jasper was her type then because he's

all she ever talked about now.

Finally she walked over to our table with an annoyed look on her face. At first I thought she was

annoyed because she couldn't find jasper but he was right there sitting beside Edward. She sat down

beside me and I found out who she was annoyed with.

"Bella, since when have you had a crush on Edward?"

"A year."

"And give me one good reason why you didn't talk to him today."

Rose decided to intervene before things got bad. Alice was known to overreact sometimes. "What

happened?" She said warily.

"She fell, he caught her, she stared at him, he stared at her, and then she apologized, blushed and came

to sit here." Wow Alice made me sound so pathetic. Emmet laughed along with Rosalie and of course I

turned red again which made them laugh more. Then she turned her attention to me again. "Why

didn't you say something, Bella?"

"What should I have said? Sorry to fall on you, so want to meet up later?"

"Hey it could have worked!" Only Emmet would say such a thing. Who knew what went on inside his

head.

"Sure Emmet and I could grow a second head." That cracked them up and I joined in after a while. It was

actually funny now that I saw it from their perspective. "Honestly Alice, you know that if I opened my

mouth something stupid or awkward might come out and then he'd thing that I was nuts."

"Why are you being so negative? You really should try talking to him. Maybe he likes you too."

"Please Alice; I'm way out of his league. He won't even know I exist let alone like me."

"Looks like we are going to have to build up your self esteem and show you how extremely beautiful you

really are, I am going to give you," she paused dramatically as if waiting for a drum roll before saying "A

makeover which means shopping." She looked like Christmas had come early that year.

I looked at Rose horrified at the very thought of going shopping with Alice again.

"Sorry Bells this time I'm going to have to side with Alice."

Uh-oh. This could not end well.


	3. Shopping

**A/N: Hi everyone. So I'm tweaking up the story a bit because it was getting really boring and its so cliché that I think I might just barf on it. I wanted to try something completely different as I couldn't find it in me to continue the old one but don't worry It's still the same but it has a little twist to it. Please read the summery though it doesn't really give away my plan but at least you'll know what to expect. **

**A Big Thank You to ****EscapingGreatly for the awesome advice and a big shout out to disguisedwriter and rockstr16 for reviewing. Love you guys! And also to all the people who added me to their favorites and alerts. Thanks guys. =)**

Oh how I LOVE shopping. Note the sarcasm. Now if some random person comes up to me and says that they have been run over by a truck I would totally be able to say I know how you feel because that's exactly how much pain I'm feeling right now. I can't even remember how long we've been shopping but something about the hideous aching in my legs tells me it's been long. Really long.

I swear to god if Alice so much as mentions the word shopping ever again I WILL punch her. I mean I really love and all but if she takes me shopping again I might just end up killing her.

Rose had conveniently made plans with Emmet so that she wouldn't have to suffer shopping with Alice so it was just me and Alice and of course the ridiculously large pile of shopping bags which were all mine.

I never had much money but Alice wouldn't let me pay for anything and albeit all of my protests she kept buying me stuff without so much as glancing at the price tags.

I mean I knew she was rich and all but who knew she was _that_ rich? She bought me things from channel of all places._ Channel_! I've never been able to afford anything in there!

Alice started waving her hand in front of my face. "Yoo-hoo Bells? Why'd you zone out on me? Anyway which color stiletto you want?"

I sighed. "Alice why in the world would I even buy stilettos anyway? I barely manage to stay upright in flats."

"Bella, Bella, Bella If you want to get this guys attention you have to overcome that little default of yours"

Oh crap now that she mentioned my little default I suddenly remembered that I had a meeting to go to, though I'm sure Alice wasn't talking of _that _when she mentioned my little default. She didn't even know about it. I couldn't find it in myself to tell her. Nobody knew about that except Charlie of course because then they'd be all sympathetic. But I don't need sympathy. I can manage quite well without it.

"Well Alice if you really must, and I'm sure you'll force me in to them anyway no matter what I have to say about it, you can buy it in blue but don't give me grief if I end up killing poor innocent bystanders."

She looked at me warily and muttered something which sounded like party pooper but she bought them anyway like I knew she would. Most of the things would probably rot in my closet until Alice forced me into them but if made her happy then whatever.

"Listen Alice I really have to go somewhere…" I flinched under the death glare she gave me.

"Oh no you don't. You Isabella Marie Swan are going to be here until I say were done and I say that we've just gotten started."

"Alice how long have we been shopping?"

"Um a little over six hours". She said innocently

"What time is it?"

"seven." Crap that meant I only had an hour to get ready.

"Alice I really do have to go somewhere."

"How do I know you're not lying to me?" she said suspiciously.

"Look you can just ask Charlie. He'll conform it."

"Fine." Wow she was actually letting me go? I was really happy to be finally free until she added "But just remember that I'm not finished with you."

Stupid Little Pixie.

But at least I was free. For now that is.

Alice drove like a complete maniac and we were in front of my house in five minutes flat even though the mall's half an hour away. She would give me a nervous breakdown one of these days with the way she drove.

"Hey dad." I said walking in the front door with Alice right behind me. I guess she wasn't going to give up without a fight.

Charlie walked in from the living room smiling.

"Hiya Bells back so soon? I thought you wouldn't be back for at least another hour."

I rolled my eyes at him. Oh sure he could make fun of me now but if he ever had the misfortune to be stuck in a mall with Alice he wouldn't be joking about this.

"I had to go somewhere." He looked confused for a moment but then comprehension dawned on his face immediately followed by grief.

"Oh yeah that's right so why don't you go get ready? You don't have to make dinner, I'll order pizza."

I heard a sigh from Alice now that she knew I wasn't lying. Yes! Sweet victory.

"So I guess I'll see you tomorrow then Bella." She started walking towards the door and then turned around. She had a wicked grin on her face.

Oh god this could not be good.

"Oh I'll come over with Rose a little early to dress you up for school."

"Fine." I knew I couldn't win. She always got what she wanted. Evil little pixie.

I quickly went upstairs to get ready. With the way I drove I would barely just make it in time. Urgh. I hate being a slow driver.

**A/N: Can anyone guess what Bella's up to? Review or PM me your guess.**


	4. The Secret Revealed

**A/N: Hey people so this chapter is basically dedicated to all those who added me to their favorites/story alerts. Thanks guys, you rock. Oh yeah, there are no vamps in this story all humans, Alice is not Edwards's sister but Emmet is his brother. Alice's parents are still alive. That should clear up any confusion. Please review.**

**I just noticed that I didn't put a disclaimer in the last two chapters; I guess I was just trying to run from the awful truth but I had to face it eventually. **

**Disclaimer: I Don't Own Twilight. *sobs* the truth hurts!**

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Crap I'm really late. I'd be surprised if I even make it there by the time it was finished. Damn Alice and her stupid shopping trips. I'll murder her when I get back.

I shouted a hasty goodbye to Charlie and ran to my truck but unfortunately for me I can't walk two steps without finding something to trip over and my foot caught a crack in the pavement and I went flying forwards and landed on my face.

Oh well that was bound to happen and at least I wasn't bleeding. I quickly got up and made my way towards my truck but more slowly this time.

By the time I reached the meeting it had already started. I hurried towards the right room and slid in an empty chair.

I had joined this cancer support group a month before when I had been diagnosed of cancer.

I had initially joined just to get Charlie off my back but now I seriously enjoyed it. These people were like my second family. They always supported me and gave me hope and it felt good to be there for someone who was going through difficult times.

A guy was speaking but I was sitting so far back that I couldn't make out who he was. I couldn't concentrate on what he was saying because I was feeling so sleepy and tired.

Alice had dragged me to the mall at nine in the morning. NINE IN THE MORNING! It's a weekend. I should have been allowed to sleep in but no the evil pixie always gets what she wants.

Angela, a friend I had made almost immediately, broke in to my reverie. "Hey Bells, where'd you go off to?"

"Oh hi Ang didn't see you there. I was just thinking I guess. You won't believe what just happened." I told her about the makeover and the shopping trip and to my surprise she just laughed.

Some friend she was. I expected her to sympathize with me.

"Gee thanks a lot ang, remind me never to tell you anything ever again."

"I'm sorry it's just that you seem so scared of Alice."

My jaw dropped. "I. AM. NOT. SCARED. OF. THE. PIXIE."

I didn't know whether I was trying to convince her or myself because deep down I think I was scared of her. Alice could turn pretty gruesome when she was angry.

"Okay, okay you don't have to shout you know."

Uh-oh. Now everyone in the room was staring at me. The guy stopped speaking and was gaping at me. I blushed after a minute everyone turned away.

I glanced over at Angela and then we both burst out laughing.

"The next time I go in to another rant clamp your hand on my mouth."

"Sure Thing." She said with a giggle.

After about half an hour I walked back to my truck, my feet dragging on the ground because I didn't have the strength to lift them. I could barely manage to drive home so I switched on the radio and Gives You Hell by The All American Rejects was playing so I sang along to it just to keep myself from dozing off.

_I wake up every evening, with a big smile on my face, and it never feels out of place_

_And you're still probably working, at a 9 to 5 pace, I wonder how bad that tastes,_

_When you see my face hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell, _

_When you walk my way hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell,_

_Now where's that picket fence love?, and where's that shiny car?, and did it ever get you far?,_

_You've never seem so tense love, I've never seen you fall so hard, do you know where you are?._

_And truth be told I miss you, and truth be told I lying,_

_When you see my face hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell, _

_When you walk my way hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell,_

_When you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well,_

_Then he's a fool, you're just as well, hope it gives you hell_

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By the time I reached home I was giggling like mad. This song always made me laugh for some weird reason. But then I remembered that I had to go to school tomorrow and that Alice would be the one dressing me.

Knowing Alice she was bound to pick out something really attention grabbing. Attention was something that I avoided at all costs because I would either blush or fall on my face and in both the cases I would end up embarrassing myself.

Besides it wasn't like I was beautiful or anything I don't care what Alice had to say I knew that I wasn't pretty and that she was just saying that to make me feel better about myself.

I didn't stand a chance of winning Edwards attention with people like Rosalie and Alice around. Edward was like a god and he deserved someone better then me.

Sighing I walked in the house. Charlie was in the living room watching the game. I went straight up to my room not wanting to talk to him. I couldn't stand to see him so sad.

I didn't sleep well that night because it was raining pretty hard and the sound of the rain pounding on the roof kept me awake all night needless to say I was feeling really grouchy in the morning and in no mood for Alice's perkiness.

She came to my house with so much stuff that I thought she actually managed to rob the mall. She spent over an hour on me just doing the hair and make up. That's right over an hour on hair and make up. Finally I was ready.

She dressed me in simple yet elegant clothes, dark skinny jeans with a blue off shoulder top, which I think was quite an accomplishment for her seeing as she always tended to go over board with everything.

"Wow Bella, you look gorgeous." That meant a lot coming from Rosalie because she was basically the most beautiful person I had ever seen.

"Thanks Rose." I said smiling.

"Knock 'em dead tiger."

I rolled my eyes. That was Alice for you.

We got to school in the nick of time thanks to Alice's driving. I took a deep breathe.

Time for the Show to Begin.

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	5. Lunch and Stares

**A/N: Hey guys, I'm so sorry for the long wait but I really couldnt do much about it since my parents decided that I was appaerently "Depressed" and they took away my laptop and internet previliges but I'm back now so dont worry. Upadates will be more frequent since I'm halfway finished with chapter six so yeah it'll be up in a day or two.**

**In case anyone's confused chapter three and four are set on saturday and this chapter is taking place on moday and there's a slight mention of sunday too.**

**Thanks again to all of the lovely people who added me to their alert/fav lists. It really means alot.**

**Anyway, to make up for the long wait here is a long chapter so I hope you guys enjoy it and as always reviews are welcome. Oh and please read the A/n at the bottom too if you dont mind, thnks.**

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I officially HATE each and every person of forks high. Why do they have to stare so much?

Someone please kill me. Please. I'm literally begging here!

No takers? Fine!

They started staring as soon as I stepped out of Alice's Porsche. Her car is bright yellow; don't ask me why because I'm just as clueless as you are, as if that wasn't enough to catch people's attention but they have gotten used to Alice and her eccentries and they don't bother looking twice anymore. It felt like my first day of school all over again. They stared as if they haven't already seen me, or have been seeing me for the past year; they stared as if they haven't ever seen a girl before.

Alice what the hell have you done? I should never have agreed to this. Why did I agree anyway? Because I'm a hopeless pushover. Right.

I just thought she would just force me in to some new clothes and do my hair and make up a little. I momentarily forgot that this was ALICE we were talking about and she ALWAYS goes over board.

First she dragged me over to a spa and made me get one of those sea weed wraps. I mean don't get me wrong I love the sea and all of that but I find it disgusting being wrapped in sea weed. Who knows where it's been. After confiding my worries to Alice, which I regret, because she just let out a sigh and said that if I didn't get on with it she would take me shopping for an extra three hours. Anyone who knows Alice would know she meant business so I complied without another word.

It wasn't that bad actually mostly because I fell asleep and didn't wake up until it was over. It was supposed to be relaxing but all I feel is disgusted. Next she took me shopping which I had been dreading ever since she mentioned the word.

We shopped again for seven hours straight. That's right SEVEN whole hours of shopping with Alice.

She dragged me to each and every store, and there were about seventy stores in the mall by the way, and then embarrassed me by getting into a heated argument with almost every shopper about the quality of the products and in the end we got a police escort out of the mall and were told to not come back again but Alice went barging back in only to be dragged out by a menacing looking guard and I had to tow her to her car by her elbow while she shouted stuff about law suits to them.

All in all it wasn't as harmless as I thought it would be. She tried to take me over to a saloon but that's when I put my foot down so she contented herself with showing up at my house at five in the morning to do my hair and make up and dress me in clothes which she deemed suitable.

And now here I am in the parking lot with everyone just standing there and staring at me while I blushed fiercely and looking at my feet.

"Come on Bella we don't want to keep all of your fans waiting now do we?" Alice said smiling, clearly proud of her work.

I just stood glaring at her until her smile faltered and she took a firm grip of my arm and hauled me over to the school. For a small person she's pretty strong. I have a feeling it has something to do with those self defense classes she took with Emmet. I'd have to thank him for it later….. by hitting him on the head of course.

As we started walking towards the crowd they quickly moved away as if I was the queen or something. I groaned loudly just so Alice would know exactly how much I hated this whole predicament. This was going to be a long day.

By the time I got to the cafeteria I was I thoroughly pissed off. In every class two or more guys have tried to hit on me and in Spanish, the class just before lunch, they had all ganged up on me and I had barely managed to escape their pervy clutches.

The worst part was that no one backed me up. Alice and Rosalie were in different classes and all the other girls looked at me with such envy and loathe that one would have thought that I had done something really horrible to them like ran over their puppy or told them that Santa didn't exist. Needless to say they didn't back me up because they were so busy sending me death glares.

I found the whole thing remotely hilarious, or I would have at least if I wasn't in such a bad move. Alice wasn't waiting outside my classroom like she usually did, maybe she had summed up that I was ready to throw draggers at her if she did but it was wise of her.

As soon as I walked in the doors I wanted to turn around and head back out again. Alice was sitting with Rosalie and Emmet at EDWARD'S TABLE!

Um what the hell was she doing there? Had I missed something while I was heroically trying to run from the evil freaks? I would have surely noticed if something this big took place, I mean this is Edward we are talking about! I always notice everything about him.

I seriously do. I'll prove it. He plays the piano, I had guessed by looking at his fingers and once when I over heard him say something about _his_ piano when I was passing by him in the hall, He is left handed, he tends to run his fingers through his hair when he is frustrated, He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose when he gets really angry, he is an excellent student but he never brags about it, he is a perfect gentleman and is always polite no matter what, when he smiles one side of his lips goes higher up then the other making his smile look crooked… I could go on and on and on.

But right now what I really needed was a way to avoid sitting at his table because I'm sure that was Alice's plan from the beginning. Even though I very much wanted to go and sit with him I know that I can't risk it.

Firstly I cannot trust my feet to not do anything clumsy. Imagine if I fell on him or if I tripped and spilled my food all over him. It would be so embarrassing and I won't ever be able to look him in the eye again. Then even if by some miracle I do manage to stay upright, which I highly doubt I'd be able to, I know that Alice still remembers the me not telling her where I was supposed to be going on Saturday thing and if she mentions it I would be doomed. I can't tell her and when I avoid the subject Edward might think that there is something wrong with me and that maybe I was supposed to go see a shrink or something.

Neither Alice nor Rosalie had spotted me yet. I could still slip away without them noticing me. But then again I _was_ starving; I hadn't eaten any breakfast because Alice took so long with the hair and make up thing. I weighed my options. Starving to death or completely humiliating myself in front of Edward and risk having him think I was a freak forever. I'll take the starving any day and it wasn't like I was _that _hungry. I could live long enough to drive myself home and get something to eat.

Just as I had started edging towards the door to make my escape without anyone noticing Alice looked up suddenly and met my gaze and grinned like the evil little pixie she is. Some one up there must really hate me. As quick as a bullet she was at my side and guiding me over to the table.

I loved her and hated her for doing that. Truly I did. Oh well I was going to have to suffer like I always did. No one could say no to Alice.

She introduced me to Jasper also known as her destiny as she puts it and I was surprised and happy to see that he looked at her the same way she looked at him. I knew he couldn't resist her charm for long.

Jasper was a great guy and I knew he'd be just right for Alice.

She then introduced me to Edward by pausing dramatically for a second before saying, "And this is my best friend." Like it was such a privilege for me that I should be down on my knees thanking her for her immense generosity.

She was trying to lighten the mood and it worked. We all laughed, well everyone except Edward but I didn't look at him to see why, I didn't think I'd be able to look away once I did.

He surprised me by saying,"Yeah I know, Bella is it?"

My heart rate increased tenfold.

He knew my name? HE KNEW MY NAME!!!

I was way beyond the ability to speak so Alice replied for me

"Yep," she said popping the p. "This is the infamous Bella Swan, 18, single, cute, available…"

I began to blush fiercely, one of these days Alice you are going to regret each and every word you have ever said.

Emmet suddenly burst out laughing for no apparent reason. It was probably to cover up the insanely awkward moment though did he realize how obvious he was being?

"Oh Alice you are one hell of a naughty pixie."

She just stuck her tongue out at him and I let out a giggle. From my prehiphiel vision I saw Edwards eyes widen considerably though I couldn't make out why exactly. Maybe he just thought that I had a weird laugh but he was too polite to mention it or something.

We continued chatting after that, it came really effortlessly as though we had known each other for a long time. Edward never contributed anything, much like me, he preferred to sit in silence.

Wow, I guess we have something in common after all.

Much sooner then I would have thought the bell rang signaling the end of the lunch. Time just flies when you are feeling awkward and out of place. I guess that's one of its many miracles.

I still hadn't eaten anything and I was fed up of running to and fro between my one too many admirers.

I considered skipping biology and gym and just going home but biology was my only class with Edward in it and we somehow became partners, not that we actually talked or anything, but sitting next to Edward Cullen for one whole lesson was something to good to be true. I wouldn't miss it for the world. I guess that's my decision.

I wonder if Edward understood that Alice meant the hint for him. He seems like a smart guy but did I really want him to realize that?

It would make the situation more awkward then it already is, if that's even possible, he might just end up turning away from me in disgust. Ouch, not something I would want to remember for the rest of my life.

As I was getting up to leave Alice suddenly said, "Edward you have biology too right? Would you mind walking Bella to class since you both _are_ going the same way and all?"

I didn't know whether to blush or do a happy dance so I just glared at Alice but to my surprise Edward said, "No of course not."

Aww, he is such a gentle man. Wait did I just say aww?

Maybe Alice is catching. I better stop spending so much time with her or I might *gulp* become like her. I shuddered at that thought. Never in a million years was I going to let _that_ going to happen.

I hadn't realized that we had already started walking until we reached the door of the classroom and Edward held it open for me; see what I mean about being a total gentleman? I wonder where he got that from. Heaven knows that Emmet is the total opposite of that.

Just as I was beginning to wonder that maybe this class wouldn't be so bad after all and that nothing worse could possibly happen today right? When I stopped dead in my tracks. There sat none other then Mike Newton sneering at me as soon as he realized that I was here too.

His smile said it all. He was going to make my day hell and I knew it. I forgot he was in this class to. He had been asking me out since the minute I stet foot in this school and the fact that I had turned him down every time did nothing to dampen his spirits. He was ready to be annoyingly persistent.

At least I had Edward here with me. Maybe he would fight him off for me. Right, fat chance of _that_ ever happening.

I'll just have to suck it up. Serves me right for not making an escape when I had the chance.

This was not fair. How did I always find myself in the middle of these situations?

I guess I'll never really know.

God please let me be struck by lightning. Please.

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**A/N: I was wondering if you wanted an Edward POV of this chapter so reveiw or PM me with your yes or no's.**

**And before I forget read "Where Is The Sun" by disguisedwriter. Its an awsome story and she's a brillient writer and you'd regret it if you dont read it.**


	6. EPOV Need I say more?

**A/N: I know you all simply love me right now for this. **

**A huge shout out to disguisedwriter and to all of the ones who alerted/fav this story.**

**And a big big big thank you to ****Shiny-silver-Volvo-stalker**** for the review and the alerts. It means so much to me. Anyway on with the story. Read the A/N at the bottom too, thanks and Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT nor will I Ever own twilight. The truth is just too painful for me to type!**

**The song for this chapter is "I'm still here" by the goo goo dolls. It's an amazing song and I love the lyrics. Listen to it if you haven't already.**

EPOV *swoon*:

School was just a charade that I played to keep Esme satisfied. My knack of shutting people out really bothered her though I never really got why I would want to make friends with people I don't know, and don't want to know.

I usually kept to myself because well I had no idea.

But why make friends at all when you don't know whether you would be around for much longer.

I had been diagnosed of cancer a year back when I had moved to forks from Alaska. It didn't really bother me much because truth is told I didn't want to be around longer then it was necessary anyway.

This discovery only helped to darken my already cynical view of the world, so yeah I did go to support group meetings and such but I never really got how people possessed so much optimism and hope.

Carlisle had obviously been trying to do everything in his power to cure me but he couldn't do much about my oh-so-dark-bad-boy mind, as Emmet put it.

Emmet was well Emmet. He usually made jokes about it and stuff to lighten the mood but at least he hadn't told anyone for which I was extremely grateful.

My one and only friend was Jasper Whitlock, though it wasn't as if people don't literally beg me to be their friend but I just prefer Jaspers company over theirs.

He was partly the reason I even tried to play the charade.

He didn't make judgments about me. He was a great guy and I hadn't had the heart to tell him about my having cancer.

He usually dragged me out of the house once in a while to appease Esme but yeah it didn't really make much of a difference to me except that it kept both my parents happy.

Today was like any other day except when I got to school there was one name on every one's mind.

Bella.

Their feeling ranged from lust to envy. It was silly really. Just like flashing a shiny object in front of a child.

It was disgusting and even more so was the fact that this girl actually dressed up to get everyone's attention.

Why would anyone want to do that in the first place was beyond me, but I guess she was just like any other girl, carving for attention.

Well any other girl except the only girl here who didn't like to dress up.

The one with so much natural beauty that she didn't need make up to compliment her face. I had bumped in to her once.

She didn't seem like the judgmental type bimbos which were usually running around here. I never got to know her name.

As I rounded the corner to my first class I saw the same girl I had bumped in to, being cornered by some perv. So this was the girl who had been on everyone's mind.

She was dressed in simple but elegant clothes with just a little make up, enough to compliment her wide chocolate brown eyes, and her hair was loose flowing in waves down her back. Wow.

I considered saving her but thought against it when she started shouting at the guy.

Huh, I didn't think she had it in her. She just looked so innocent and vulnerable, like she was just begging for protection.

The first bell rang and interrupted my thoughts.

By lunch I had already heard of lots of stories of how she had shouted down many prev's.

I'd be lying to myself if I said that I wasn't impressed.

I was talking to Jasper when a pixie like girl came to our table and introduced herself as Alice and asked if she could sit down since there wasn't an empty seat else where though I could see many empty ones.

I wonder what she's up to. I was about to politely refuse but as soon as she came here I saw Jasper's eyes begin to glow.

Looks like that'd be a yes then.

She was soon followed by Emmet and his girlfriend Rosalie, who I knew pretty well since hung out at our house most of the time.

And so they started talking about nothing in particular and I as per usual tuned them out.

I saw Alice look at Jasper with the same spark in her eyes.

This could be the start of something between them and she did seem like a nice girl. Not at all shallow or self obsessed.

It could be good for Jasper.

Then I saw Alice suddenly turn around and face the door, grinning.

I followed her gaze and saw Bella standing there looking as though she was just about to leave.

I wondered if Alice knew she was standing there all along.

She got up from the table and went to drag Bella over who looked like she was considering to make a run for it.

As she was walking Bella over with a firm grip on her arm as though she might try to escape I saw a look flash across Bella's face which looked strangely like…. Fear? But that's just ridiculous. Why would she be afraid of Alice? She was so small.

They came over and Alice introduced her. She said something along the lines of Bella being single and available. The look on her face when Alice said that was priceless.

It was like she was planning on murdering her. But even more adorable was the blush which began to spread on her cheeks.

Then Emmet being Emmet cracked a joke and Alice stuck her tongue out at him at which Bella giggled. I felt my eyes widen. I've heard that laugh somewhere. I just know it but I can't put my finger on it.

They continued to talk about nothingness and I noticed that Bella didn't participate much.

The bell rang and just as I was getting up to go to class and thinking of some excuse to talk to Bella, Alice spoke up and gave me the perfect opportunity. She asked me to walk Bella to class since i was going there anyway.

I of course said yes, like I would miss an opportunity to talk to her.

There was just an air of mystery which surrounded her, even looking in to her eyes it felt like they were full of secrets. It made me curious.

I wonder how I hadn't noticed her.

I guess it was just because I was so used to tuning everything out and seeing through everyone.

While walking with her I began to wonder where I had heard that laugh. I was sure it was nowhere in school.

But I so rarely went outside that it couldn't have been anywhere else.

I knew that I would remember it if I thought deeply enough. It just frustrated me that I couldn't remember it right away.

Just as we entered the classroom I felt her stop dead in her tracks.

I looked at her questioningly but she wasn't looking at me. She was looking at Newton with a look of wary disgust.

Okay now I'm confused. What is going on here?


	7. Stabbing A Perv

**A/N: Hey guys so here is another chapter. Hope you guys like it. Read and review please.**

**I'm so sorry that its so late but I was having a problem uploading it but its solved now so yeah.. and because you guys were so nice I decided to upload two chapters in one day! You can thank me by reveiwing because I'd love to hear your thoughts and by checking out my new story "Things Unsaid".**

**This is one of my fav chapters becuase it made me laugh so much when I was writing it but dont worry the angst will come soon enough i just need to get this stuff out of the way, be pateint! **

**A humongous thankyou to iloveedwardcullen12 and dark but so Lovely for taking the time and being considerate enough to review and to all those who added me to their alerts and such. **

**And a big round of applause to ****disguisedwriter for her wonderful story "Where Is the Sun?" Read it if you haven't already. **

**Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I'm sure you all know I dont own the story by now so dont make me say it again because its so sad!**

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BPOV:

I don't think Edward noticed that Mike was the reason I hesitated. That's one good thing at least.

I began to continue walking to our seats as though nothing had happened.

I will not make a complete fool of myself in front of Edward; I will not make a complete fool of myself in front of Edward. I repeated it again and again in my head as though I was wishing away all of my clumsiness and such but as usual nothing good ever happens to me.

I tripped over someone's book and I would have gone sprawling forward if Edward hadn't caught me. As if on cue a blush began to spread to my cheeks.

He quickly set me upright and we continued walking. Finally we reached our seats at the back of the classroom which were sadly directly behind Mike's chair.

_Why was the school staff out to get me? What had I ever done to them? _

I guess this is another one of those unanswerable questions.

As the teacher began his lecture I saw Mike slowly lean backwards.

I cringed away and was now sitting at the very edge of my seat. This could turn fatal.

I glanced at Edward and he hadn't noticed, he was staring out the window with a distant look on his face.

_I wonder what he's thinking about._

Uh-oh, the teacher had turned his back to us and was writing something on the board just as Mike's hand started to edge towards my thigh.

Damn Alice and her making me wear a short skirt.

I hated Mike. Maybe I could stab his hand with something.

_Hmm let's see. _

_I don't really have a knife on me. _

_Guess this pencil will have to do. I'll remember to bring a butcher knife with me next time._

I grabbed the pencil and jammed it with all my strength in to Mike's hand.

"F*ck! I'll kill you swan!"

He was about to throw a punch at me but I saw someone's hand stop him. Edward's hand. Guess he noticed after all.

"Don't you ever f**king touch her again Newton."

I felt like doing a happy dance, Edward told Newton to f*ck off just for me!

I sounded like a clingy fan girl.

I shuddered at that thought.

Edward already had a huge amount of fan girls stalking him at a daily basis.

Why does he even care? Does he really think that I am incapable of protecting myself?

Did I not just stab him with a pencil?

I huffed indignantly. I can protect myself; I've been doing it all morning he does not have to take pity on me.

I hate it when people do that.

"Sit down Mr. Newton and join me after school for detention."

I noticed that he didn't say anything to Edward, maybe it was just because of the ridiculous amount of A's he got or something.

Finally Mr. Banner paid attention to what was going on in class. He's an okay teacher but he always has an expression on his face which indicates that he wants to be here as much as we do.

I can't say I blame him. I'd be wearing that expression too if Newton was in my class.

I looked at Edward again and saw that he was looking at me with an amused expression. So he did see me stab Newton with a pencil.

Wonder why he stepped in though. It's not like we are best friends and he sticks up for me and such.

We barely even talk to each other though we have sat together in this classroom for over a year and Mike used to flirt with me everyday, well I never went as far as stabbing him with a pencil before but I was in a horrible mood and I was completely fed up with every thing so you couldn't really blame me.

Maybe he does have feelings for me, or maybe I'm just loosing my mind.

I think the second ones probably the most possible.

The day Edward would have feelings for me is the day when pigs will fly.

I suddenly had a mental picture of giant fat pigs in blonde wigs flying around in the sky.

I couldn't help myself, I just laughed my head off until I realized that I was in the middle of class and now everyone was looking at me like I was crazy or something.

I didn't even bother to cover up I just looked at them and gave them my winning smile and waved until they shook their heads and looked away.

Honestly they should know by now that I make a complete fool out of myself on a daily basis. They should have gotten used to it by now.

I was worried what Edward would think of me though.

Wait why the hell did I care? I didn't care.

Did I care? No, of course not.

Oh who am I kidding? I was in denial and I knew it.

As long as I am in denial might as well enjoy it though.

I didn't want to have to face the truth any sooner then it was necessary.

Yes, you could call it cowardly but that's just the way it was.

I couldn't be in to him. I just couldn't.

_I would crush every hope if I have to but I will not let myself fall for Edward Cullen no matter what happens. _

I looked at Edward from the corner of my eye and saw that he was staring out of the window again.

He looked really deep in thought. It looked like he was trying to figure out a difficult math problem and no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't put together all the pieces of the puzzle to find out the answer.

_Huh, weird. _

For the rest of the lesson I tried really hard, that is to say that I failed miserably, at not to staring at Edward.

I mean don't get me wrong he's pretty good to look at but I'm really not that type of person who goes for outside beauty.

But there was just something about his expression which made me feel like I was getting to see some emotion which he had never felt before.

It felt like a one sided conversation.

Sometimes his emotions were written so clearly on his face like somebody actually had printed them in bold across his forehead but other times his face was completely unreadable.

It made me curious.

I wanted to get inside his head and hear what he was thinking.

Just then the bell rang which was sort of sad because I wouldn't get to see him until tomorrow.

_Stop it Bella! What the hell do you think you're doing? Pull yourself together women, you sound like a fat boy in a room full of chocolate. He is not eye candy!!_

Wow, screaming at myself in my head was giving me a headache.

I decided to skip gym and go home early. There's only so much I can take in one day without snapping.

_Maybe I can grab a rusty knife and go on a massive killing spree throughout the country. That'd be sure to cheer me up._

I called up Alice to let her know that I'd be leaving early.

I don't want her to came after me and lecture me in front of the whole school like she did last time.

Yes she actually did that.

Or that time when I managed to get to truck but as soon as I opened the door the song Barbie Girl started playing so loudly that all of the school administration, along with all the students of course, came out side to see what the noise was about.

Aah, good times. I loved that lil pixie to bits; I don't know what I'd do with out her.

I dialed her number and she picked it up after the first bell. She didn't even say hello but she said: "Don't even think about it Bella." In a low menacing voice as though I was going to murder someone.

Alice hated it when I tried to shut the world out though I couldn't see what the big deal was, it's not like the world wanted me there in the first place.

I sighed; this was going to be hard. Okay two options either I butter her up and promise to go shopping with her afterwards or I try threatening her.

No way, I could not handle another shopping trip without ending up in jail for murdering someone.

Threatening it is then.

"Alice if you don't let me go right now I promise you…"

But she cut me off. The pixie cut me off!!!

The nerve of her!

"Oh puh-lease Bella don't try to sound menacing it doesn't suite you and you won't be able to find any of my stuff anyway."

She had a point there. Alice always kept her stuff safely locked away. Damn, the pixie was always one step ahead of me.

I tried a different approach.

"Please Alice? I can't stand another second in this hell hole, I might end up killing someone and then I might end up in jail and I wont be able to go to college and I wont be able to fulfill my dreams and you will have no one but yourself to blame."

"I'm not falling for it Bella."

Urgh! She is so frustrating.

Time to go rogue.

"Listen here pixie, I am going home right now and if you even dare to try to stop me I will…."

But I didn't get to finish because she hung up on me.

I heard someone chuckle behind me and I turned to see Edward leaning against a wall looking at me. How long had he been standing there listening to me?

"Uh hi?" Oh come on as if you could have found anything better to say.

Luckily I didn't get to hear what he thought of my brilliant greeting because I suddenly heard someone scream my name.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN!"

Oh crap she's here.

All the people in the corridor stopped and stared as Alice made her way towards me her face livid.

They actually cringed away from her as she passed them.

Uh-oh, should I be running?

Even some of the teachers had gathered around and were watching her advance but no one made any move to stop her.

Oh thanks a lot people, I'll remember to thank all of you for your immense support in my will. Note the sarcasm?

She finally stopped in front of me her face almost in level with mine since she was wearing stilettos.

Geez I didn't say anything _that_ bad! Does she have to create a scene over it?

"You are going to go to class right this instant and don't you even think about heading towards the door because I am telling you now that you WILL regret it."

"But Alice I…"

"March missy!"

I sighed, I had no choice but to turn around and head for gym.

Just as I was about to take the first step I heard her say

"And another thing I AM NOT A PIXIE!"

Wow she was so loud I thought only dogs would be able to hear her. I saw Edward crack a smile at that and I had to try hard not to laugh.

Alice stood there heaving large breathes and glaring at me. Out of nowhere Emmet came and placed a hand on Alice's shoulder.

"Geez Alice one of these days you'd end up giving the poor kid a heart attack."

I couldn't suppress a giggle at that one and earned myself a glare from Alice.

I quickly made my escape while Emmet was restraining Alice.

Who knows what she would have done if Emmet hadn't come by in time.

It was things like these that made my life even remotely livable, I mean sure she did scare the shit out of me sometimes but I enjoyed myself immensely with each and every one of those memories because god knows that we all need a bit of color in our life.

Even if that color comes in the form of a small annoying pixie.

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	8. Welcome To My Life

**A/N: I know this chapter should have been up ages ago and I am so sorry for the long wait. So without further Ado let me present Chapter Eight. Oh and please read the A/N at the bottom too, Thanks. **

**(Some parts of this chapter might be disagreeable for the younger audience, if there even is one, so yeah, you have been forewarned, don't go jumping down my throat afterwards.)**

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I had multiple bruises on both my legs and arms that were bound to be black and blue tomorrow but the rest of the kids who had gym with me had gotten the worst end of the deal.

I think one of them even had to be taken to the hospital because of a broken arm.

This is why I hate gym.

Maybe I should walk around with a neon sign above my head that says" Do Not Approach, My Clumsiness Kills,"

Well I don't know about anyone else but if I were them I'd take the threat seriously.

I was just like an accident waiting to happen.

I briefly wondered if God created me just because he thought that the world, or rather the people in it, needed an entertainer to rid itself of all the tedious sorrows of life.

Hmm, I don't think they'd be laughing now that they knew that they would be the ones in hospital beds.

Oh well, it serves them right, they should have known better then to cross my path.

It's not my fault that I put the lives of the people around me at risk because of me feet, blame the feet, it was all their idea.

After they were done shooting daggers at me and insulting me in not so low voices I was finally able to get out and to the parking lot.

If I thought that the pixie would leave me alone after the earlier episode I was dead wrong.

She was leaning against her porche, though I wouldn't call it standing of any sort since she was jumping up and down like the big glob of energy she is.

This could not be good.

"Hiya Bells." She literally sang it out.

Wow I guess I was forgiven for that episode in the corridor.

I'll have to thank Emmet for that, I don't know what he did or how he managed to do it but I would have to learn it. Pronto.

"Geez Alice how many pixie stix have you had today? Or was it the Caffeine that did it?" she looked indignantly at me for a moment.

"Well we can't all be in a total gloom and doom and sarcastic mood now can we?"

"Hey I am _not_ always in a bad mood."

"I beg to differ Bells; anyway we are going to your house to get you in to a killer outfit and then we are going clubbing." *Cue the Dun Dun Dunn music here*

I knew that this could not be good.

She always dragged me out of my house every once in a while to make a "party animal" out of me as she put it.

Though I always sat in a corner and sulked while she nagged me to have fun we had had many memorable times, like when Alice chased a poor and unexpected girl around all night giving her unnecessary fashion advice and complaining that her clothes looked awful.

In the end Emmet had to drag her out.

Ahh good times.

Anyway I might as well invite Angela, I haven't seen her since the last meeting and I was going to get bored anyway.

"Is there any point at all in saying no Alice?"

She just laughed at me.

"Fine I'll go with you guys but can I at least bring a friend."

"I'm shocked Bella, I friend that _I_ don't know about? Who is he? Is he cute?"

I let out a giggle at that one; Alice can be very naïve sometimes.

"Yes Alice I think that _she_ is very cute, anyway you two haven't met and I thought that I should finally introduce you two."

She just brightened up and resumed her jumping and said"Yay another girl to shop with."

I swear one of these days she's going to give someone a serious heart attack with all of her energy.

I'd have to warn Angela about this, she was not made to be dragged around in a mall with Alice, Heck come to think of it no one was.

Where does she get all that energy from anyway?

Even caffeine and sugar can't get a person _that _high!

But I loved her anyway.

We got in to her car and were in front of my house in less then ten minutes.

Wow that girl drove fast! It would have taken me at least half an hour to get to my house from school.

Charlie's cruiser wasn't in the driveway though I half hoped that he would be home to disapprove and prohibit me from going to a club but I knew that it was vain hope, even if he would have been here he wouldn't have been able to resist Alice's charm.

After she attacked every inch of me with makeup and fabric and shoes and everything else imaginable she let me look at myself in my full length mirror and wow that girl really knows her stuff.

She had dressed me in a simple black dress which stopped on my mid calf, my hair was curled and it was tied in a half tail the rest flowing in waves down my back and my make up was very light but it brought out my eyes and I had on silver pumps, thank god it wasn't heels.

Okay, I am never going to criticize her again, ever.

I called Angela while Alice was getting ready and thankfully she was free.

She went to a school in Seattle and we hardly ever got to see each other except in the meetings, she and I both were on our first stages of cancer and it was cure able, without chemo and all of that, we just had to keep faith I guess.

Emmet and Rosalie were also coming and there was also going to be a karaoke night later.

I knew Alice would not stand for my sulking this time, good thing Angela was coming along though.

I went outside to wait in the porche and Alice came out in a few minutes wearing hot pink and looking as bubbly and beautiful and well as _Alice_ as ever.

She told me that she had written Charlie a note stating where I was going and that he should order dinner for himself.

I was against this at first, wanting to cook Charlie's dinner, but one look from Alice managed to silence me, she did not believe in being fashionably late.

We went to a club in Seattle and we would meet Angela there. **(A/N: I don't know if there **_**are**_** any clubs in Seattle but it doesn't hurt to use your imagination right?) **

The place was completely packed by the time we arrived and almost all of the people were, for lack of a better word,_ dancing_ to the music but they were really grinding or dry humping.

Alice and I quickly walked over to the bar to wait for the others.

This is why I hate clubs, they are just an excuse to get insanely drunk and then wake up the next morning to get to know that you have slept with a complete stranger and not knowing what dieses you might have caught.

It was pathetic and I found it rather appalling, what most teenagers would have found entertaining disgusted me, Alice always joked that I was a forty year old person trapped in a teenagers body.

I guess I was a bit different but then again I had always been this way and it never really bothered me.

I spotted Angela squeezing through the crowd to make her way towards us which was quite an achievement in itself because there wasn't much room to move around any way.

I got up and gave her a hug.

"Hey Ang you look great, lavender suits you, you should wear it more often."

"Thanks Bells, you look amazing though, I'm guessing that Alice got to you?"

Uh-oh, I'd better tell her that this was Alice before she said something that she'd regret.

"Yeah this is Alice, my best friend and fashion extraordinaire."

The look on Angela's face was priceless but she quickly recovered and stuck out her hand.

"Hi, nice to finally meet you, Bella has told me so much about you."

"Nice to meet you too, I'm guessing that whatever Bella here has told you is nothing good. Am I right or am I right?"

Shit Alice was on to me, damn that pixie and her evil ways.

Ang covered it up though saying that of course I had told her nothing of such sort.

Damn she's a good liar her face showed no contradiction at all to what she was saying; she looked like a professional actor now why can't I lie like that? I might possibly be the world's worst liar.

At least Alice bought it, Ha ha in your face pixie.

Emmet and Rose arrived shortly afterwards.

They both looked gorgeous but then again, don't they always?

Rose was wearing a long scarlet dress which had a plunging neck line and had a slit down her left calf, it clung to her in all the right places and Emmet was dressed simply in jeans but with Rose on his arm he'd have half the girls drooling over him before long.

With the way Rose looked tonight Emmet would have a hard time beating off all of Rose's admirers, they literally sprung up everywhere she went. This would be entertaining to say the least, Emmet would be scaring off Rose's admirers and Rose would be doing the same to his.

It's a wonder how they manage without body guards, and they aren't even celebrities.

As soon as Emmet saw me he gave me one of his famous bear hugs and then set me down and ruffled my hair and said that he was so proud that his lil' sis was all grown up.

I just scowled at him and Alice nagged him about messing up my hair. What is with this girl?

Angela and I began talking about school and where we wanted to go to college and all of that.

I wanted to get out of this dreary town as soon as possible but Ang was kindda attached to the place and was planning on going to Seattle U.

By this time Rose and Emmet had drifted off to the dance floor and Alice was nowhere to be seen, I had a feeling that she was in front of a mirror somewhere fixing her make up.

Ang suddenly started fidgeting and kept glancing at someone behind me.

I turned around and saw that Ben Cheney had just walked in.

Ang had had a huge crush on him since as long as I could remember.

He was a friend of Emmet's, who wasn't really?, and Ang had never really talked to him or anything but I knew there was something there.

I was bored and decided to play matchmaker for the evening, Ang was a great girl and she deserved to be happy but she was just too shy sometimes, but I'd fix that, before the night would be over I would get her to talk to him.

After all I might as well do something productive.

Ben came over to order some drinks and I introduced them.

Just as I thought, they hit it off and I'm sure they'd end up together in due time.

_Mission accomplished_, I thought with a smile.

I excused myself because I didn't want to be the third wheel, Angela looked apologetic but I waved her off.

I wanted to find Alice and see what she was up to, which I knew would be no good as per usual.

I tried to squeeze through the crowd but they just won't budge, I guess I'd have to do this the hard way.

I stepped on people and poked and jabbed my way across the mass of tightly packed bodies.

God it's suffocating in here.

I finally made it through, without falling might I add. I needed to get out of here before I pass out.

I saw a small balcony type thing just to my left with glass panels, it was dark outside but I was sure no one else was out there. Perfect.

I made my escape and stood holding the railing; I closed my eyes and just felt the music of the night.

It's a curious little piece that music, it's like a symphony designed in heaven; it is unlike any other type of music in the whole world.

Its there but you just have to listen close enough.

I breathed in the wonderful scents of the night, there was a light breeze and soft moonlight managed to make its presence known through the clouds.

It's hard to think standing here that people actually enjoyed to be packed in there with deafening music when they could be out here enjoying the peace and serenity of the night.

I never really get why they would want to do that anyway, but this was exactly the kind of thinking which Alice thought set me apart from other kids my age.

Well, I always knew I was a bit deranged, guess this confirms it, I mean seriously what other eighteen year old kid would want to stand out here alone in a balcony when they could be inside the club dancing and god knows what else.

I heard a movement on my left and quickly turned around, putting one hand on my heart to try and slow it down a little bit.

Whoever it was would be getting a piece of my mind, you _do not_ startle people like that.

There sitting on the ground was none other then Edward Cullen himself in all his glory.

What the hell is he doing here?

This could not have been a coincidence; this had Alice written all over it.

I guess I was going to be giving her a piece of my mind too, right after I'm done with Edward here.

He just looked at me not saying a word but just looked at me.

Oookay then.

Maybe he's the one who's deranged.

"Do you always sneak up on people like that?". Though I knew fully well that he had been sitting there long before I even came in, but oh who cares anyway, I could have had a heart attack!

"Do _you_ always have a habit of barging in on people?". So this was how it was going to be eh? He wanted to play with words? Fine with me.

"Do you always sneak out and hide in the dark like a little boy when you got to clubs or any other place for that matter?" Ha beat that!

"Do _you_ always have a tendency to argue with the first person you see when _you_ come and hide in the dark?" .Okay I'll admit that was a good one, the boy _has_ got some brains after all.

"What the hell are you doing here anyway?" Okay I was a bit blunt there but the words just came out of my mouth.

"I could ask you the same thing." He had a point there. I didn't realize that he had stood up and damn did he look good.

_Focus Bella, this is not the time to be dazzled!_

"You know what? I think I'll just go since you were here first. I am _so_ sorry I barged in on you." I said all of this with heavy sarcasm and he looked dumfounded for a bit but then he recovered.

"No, don't leave on my account. You looked like you were enjoying yourself better out here then in there anyway." He said pointing to the doors.

Wait what? He was watching me? This was _so_ Alice's work.

"Excuse me?" It took him a moment to realize his mistake but he finally got there.

He looked lost for words and we fell in to an uncomfortable silence, well uncomfortable for him at least, I was just enjoying myself, watching him being uncomfortable for once.

But I couldn't let him be uncomfortable for long partly because I pitied him and partly because I wanted evidence from him that I could throw at Alice late.

I knew that she would deny all knowledge of this and I would never be able to prove her wrong and if I had Edward's words as evidence she wouldn't be able to deny it.

And of course there was also that small irrational part of me which wanted him to continue to speak just because I wanted to hear his velvety voice again. Like I said, irrational.

"Did Alice set you up to this?" Bluntness always worked.

"Did Alice set me up to what exactly?" oh so he was going to play stupid now was he?

I can be persistent if I want to be.

"Oh don't act like you don't know. Did she or did she not plan on calling you here?"

"Well actually I don't know what you are talking about; it was Jasper who dragged me out today."

"Oh that pixie is good." I said under my breath but Edward heard it because he was smiling that crooked smile.

I didn't miss the "dragged me out" part of his speech though, looks like we have another thing in common, friends who force us to go out and enjoy.

"He 'dragged' you out?"

"Well yeah, you don't think that I would want to come to this horrid place on my own now do you?"

"I can't imagine why _you_ wouldn't want to come here. I'm curious, why wouldn't you want to come here? It's not like this place is that bad."

"If it's not that bad as you put it then why are you out here instead of in there?" Why does he keep bringing that up?

"Okay you_ do_ have a point there; I hate this place as much as you do, maybe even more. It looks like we are stuck either way though."

"Why do you keep changing the topic?" Do I? I didn't even notice.

"No I don't. I didn't know it was a crime to say something other then what you are asked to say."

"See you did it again, every time I ask you something about you, you just change the subject to manipulate the conversation away from yourself or you make a sarcastic comment to distract the other person."

"Oh so you want to get to know me now do you? And what makes you think that you have any right to know any thing about me?" Okay I'll admit that I went a bit far this time but he was really beginning to get on my nerves.

He looked surprised and said "Sheesh calm down I was just pointing out the obvious, it's not like you don't know it. Okay so here's the deal, I tell you about me and in return you tell me about yourself. Deal?"

Now I'm confused, why does he want to know me?

Did Alice put him up to this?

But he just said that it wasn't Alice and I wanted to tell him about me, I felt like I could trust him, that he wouldn't judge me. For the first time in my life I felt safe, comfortable and well I felt like me.

Looks like I already made my decision without consciously making it.

"Fine, deal but you have to go first."

"Okay so I'm adopted, my real parents died in a fire when I was small but I still remember each and every detail about it. Jaspers my best friend, he's always there to back me up whenever I need him, Esme and Carlisle are great parents and they never let me feel like I'm adopted and they treat me like their own child. Emmet's the best brother anyone could have….." he trailed off.

Actually he looked like he was going to say something else but then he looked like he changed his mind.

I already knew most of this stuff via Emmet but I knew there was something beneath that thick mask of his and I was determined to figure out what it was.

There was just something about him that made me curious, that made me want to know each and every detail about his life.

As corny as it sounds I wanted to know his hopes, his dreams and basically wanted to know him. Sure everyone claimed to know him but I knew that he hid everything about himself.

I felt like I could talk to him for hours on end and won't ever get tired of it.

Uh-oh it was my turn.

It wasn't that I had decided to back out of the deal and that I didn't want to tell him anything about me but more like I couldn't find the words to say all that I wanted to say.

I wanted to tell him everything.

Maybe I thought that if I was honest with him he would tell me about the real him, the guy hidden behind the mask.

I don't know what I was thinking but I had an idea.

I took so long that he looked disappointed like he thought that I wasn't going to say anything.

Ha, more like he wont be able to stop me if I began.

"You'll have to come inside for a bit to hear my story."

"Okay." He agreed? I thought he was going to be difficult. I was wrong apparently.

I flashed him a smile and led the way inside.

Just as I suspected the karaoke night had started. No one was willing to step up and sing though; they were all waiting for someone brave enough to go first.

I saw Emmet and Rose, Ben and Angela and even Jasper and Alice standing in the crowd. They were probably wondering where we were.

The DJ asked again for a volunteer who would like to go first.

"Wait here."I said to Edward and I made my way through the crowd and up to the stage.

Alice would love me for doing this.

I gave the DJ the song and waited for the lyrics to begin and then I started singing while looking straight in to Edwards eyes.

_**Do you ever feel like breaking down?  
Do you ever feel out of place?  
Like somehow you just don't belong  
And no one understands you  
Do you ever wanna run away?  
Do you lock yourself in your room?  
With the radio turned on up so loud  
That no one hears you screaming**_

No you don't know what it's like  
When nothing feels all right  
You don't know what it's like  
To be like me

To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?  
Are you sick of feeling so left out?  
Are you desperate to find something more?  
Before your life is over  
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?  
Are you sick of everyone around?  
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies  
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like  
When nothing feels all right  
You don't know what it's like  
To be like me

To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face  
And no one ever stabbed you in the back  
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay  
Everybody always gave you what you wanted  
You never had to work it was always there  
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life  
Welcome to my life  
Welcome to my life

I finished and the whole room erupted with cheers.

Edwards's mouth was hanging open and he looked well I don't know, he looked awed, surprised, confused, dumbstruck, and sad all at the same time, if that makes any sense at all. I saw Alice jumping up and down and she looked like she was so happy that she might squeeze the living daylights out of me.

Beat that Edward.

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**A/N: Thank you to all of the people who have reviewed, I'm so sorry that I haven't been able to reply but I'm thanking you all here. This is the longest chapter yet so enjoy and don't forget to review. I'd love to hear your thoughts. P.S. For the people who don't know this song this is "Welcome To My Life" by Simple Plan. It's a great song so check it out. **


	9. Imperfection

**A/N: Yes people, I am still alive and no I did not disappear off the face of the earth. I'm so sorry that this chapter took forever to come, hope you all can forgive me. I'm sorry this one's short, will be longer one's in the future. Totally my fault, won't happen again, promise. =D Big thank you to everyone who stuck by me. I really appreciate it you guys. **

**The songs for this chapter are Imperfection by Skillet, it's a great song you should def check it out. I picked this song because Bella feels so insecure all the time. And believe it or not, Hot n Cold by Katy Perry, I can't say that I'm a fan but it makes me laugh and it fit.**

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Everyone seemed to cheer forever which I thought was pathetic and, like a good sport, I told everyone to shut the hell up, which they did and walked off the stage like nothing had happened.

Rose and Alice started hugging me while Emmet thumped me on the back so hard that I stumbled and eventually would have fallen down if he hadn't caught me on time.

What _is_ it with people always catching me when I am about to fall?

"Wow Bella I didn't know you could sing like that."

This was high praise, at least for me, coming from Rosalie whose own voice sounded like an angel right from heaven was speaking.

I was about to thank her when I saw Alice mouthing "I told you so" to Emmet who then frowned and handed her a thousand bucks.

I hated it when they bet on me.

"So what is it this time guys?"

For a pixie she wasn't too subtle when it came to hiding things from me.

Emmet was about to deny all knowledge of it but Alice spoke up, knowing that it would piss me off if they didn't tell me.

"I bet that before we went back home you would go on stage and sing a song and Emmet bet that you wouldn't."

Alice got a real kick out of predicting the future and she was somehow always right.

She said all of this while biting her lip in apprehension as though she thought that I would start shouting at her in front of everyone.

Instead, to her great surprise, I burst out laughing.

Normally in this kind of situation I _would_ have probably yelled at her but I was still feeling high off the adrenaline coursing through my veins.

I had never sung in front of an audience before and it felt, I don't know, good?

I was confused but it was a good confused.

"Oh Emmet, you should know by now that you should never ever bet against Alice. She always wins no matter what."  
Alice smiled at me.

She loved it when anyone praised her little _ability_.

Suddenly I remembered that Edward was here too and turned around to search for him but he was no where in sight.

My face fell as I looked everywhere for any trace of him.

How did he vanish in to thin air like that?

And without saying goodbye?

What was with him?

Did I not just sing a freaking song in front of God knows how many people for the guy?

I could tell that he didn't want to tell me anything about himself, at least not the stuff that the whole world didn't already know of and here I sung the guy a whole freaking song about me.

To say that I was pissed off was the most major understatement of the year.

I _will _get to know the guy behind that disguise if it's the last thing I do.

God I sounded so cliché back there but eh, if it fits, it fits.

I still had to go off at Alice for the little stunt she pulled what with getting Edward here and all but I really wasn't in the mood for it now.

Funny how I didn't feel in the mood for, well anything really, knowing that Edward had already left.

I really should watch out for myself or I would be falling for him, _Hard_.

Little did I know that my free fall had already begun.

I pleaded with Alice to take me home since one: I was kind of tired, two: I couldn't stand this place one minute longer and three: it _was_ a school night.

I'll admit the last one didn't really hold much potential in it since no one cared about studying but me.

But If I stayed out any longer tonight Charlie really _would_ turn me out of the house since he, like me, does not believe in partying late on school nights.

But I'd have Alice with me this time to cool him off if the situation got out of hand so I wasn't_ that_ worried.

She agreed eventually and we said goodbye to Rose and Emmet who intended to stay there a little longer and Angela who didn't look like she could move even if she wanted to.

Ahh young love.

If I hadn't seen it in action amongst my friends I never would have believed in its existence but what Emmet and Rose had was too real to be ignored though I wasn't sure if it applied to everyone in general or just them but either way love _did_ exist.

I couldn't deny its existence when it was right in front of me.

I had absolutely no doubt that one day Emmet and Rose will get married to one another even if they had to cross a thousand hurdles to get there.

I felt Alice's tiny fist knocking lightly on my forehead.

"Back to the land of the living Bells."

I blushed.

Okay, truth be told I do zone out in to my thoughts for indefinite periods of time but I simply hate it when Alice makes jokes about it.

At least I am one of the kinds of people in this place who actually has a brain and knows how to use it unlike those blonde bimbos running around all over.

And any way real life was way too boring and monotonous for a person with a sane mind, like mine, to enjoy it for long.

"Yeah, yeah 'm back, what do ya want?"

"Wow back to the grouchy old self are we? Well I was just trying to point out that we are at your house since you clearly did not show any intention of noticing it what so ever."

"Right thanks Alice."

I was just about to step out of her car when I turned to her.

She looked at me verily as though she knew what I was going to say to her already, about which I have absolutely no doubt because of her, err, for lack of a better word "powers".

God that sounds weird even inside my head.

_Damn right it does_.

And now I'm talking to myself _inside my head_.

Great.

"You are still not off the hook missy."

She began to make her innocent face but I wasn't falling for it this time.

I had experienced too much of Alice to know when she was lying.

"Don't even try it, you know what you did, inviting Edward and all. Like I said you are so not off the hook and if you ever try to that again Alice, well let's just say that I know the way to your closet."

"You wouldn't dare."

"So help me Alice and I swear to God I will."

"But Bella I was just….." I had heard that one before, just trying to help. Yeah right.

"Save it Alice. You're forgiven this time but just barely."

"Gee I feel so special."

"You should actually."

"God bells that was _so_ funny that I forgot to laugh."

"Wasn't a joke, Kay? See ya tomorrow."

"Bye, love you."

And with that she drove off, well without the speed limit might I add.

Funny, I didn't even notice that I had gotten out of the car.

I walked inside and saw that Charlie was watching the game.

Huh, typical.

"Hey dad, m back. Did you have dinner already or do you want me to fix something up for you?"

"Nah I'm good bells. How was your evening? Did you have fun?"

"Oh yeah dad, I watched young people intoxicate themselves until they were completely senseless then make utter fools out of themselves, _fun_."

He just turned to face me and gave me a very weird look before turning back to the love of his life, the television.

Oh wait, no that's the second love of his life. His first love is his job.

I stomped on upstairs in the worst frame of mind possible, the reason for which was still unclear to me but whatever.

I wasn't in the mood for speculations.

I didn't bother to change or take a shower or even brush my teeth.

I just fell in to bed with a heavily conflicted mind and tried to fall asleep.

I was up all night doing nothing but starring at the dark ceiling and finally fell asleep somewhere around dawn.

The shrill noise of the alarm clock woke me up and I just opened one eye to chuck it across the room and in to the wall before closing it again.

I'd have to find a quieter alarm clock the next time I went out.

I don't know how long I just lay there unmoving before finally getting out of bed.

I couldn't sleep all day, I had to get up sometime and I knew for a fact that if I didn't get up now Alice and Rose would be up here to drag me to school.

I quickly showered and brushed my teeth and dressed in plain jeans and a long sleeved black tee with some abstract art on the front.

I knew Alice wouldn't mind my clothes if I added at least a little color to them hence the abstract.

She simply hated it when I dressed in only black which I did sometimes just to annoy the hell out of her but I had to pay for it afterwards when she gave me a whole lecture about it.

Her last lecture was a little above two hours.

That's why I love her.

I heard her horn outside and ran to the door, something which should never ever be attempted by people like me.

I naturally tripped over nothing and landed on my face in the middle of the room, it's a good thing the floor's carpeted.

I got up and slowly walked out.

As soon as they both saw me they burst out laughing.

I just huffed and kept on walking.

Pfft they're crazy.

I opened the door and sat in the back seat.

They still hadn't stopped laughing.

Both had tears streaming down their faces from laughing so hard and were gasping for air.

I slapped both their faces hard and they finally came to their senses.

"Yeah thanks we needed that." said Rose while Alice said at the same time "Hey what was that for? Laughin ain't a crime!"

"Care to explain guys?"

Alice was about to start laughing again when a death glare from Rose shut her up.

"Look in the mirror Bella." Rosalie said in a rather serious tone which really worried me.

So I followed Rose's advice and looked in the rearview mirror.

What I saw was not a pretty sight.

I had a huge, and I do mean _huge_, bump on my forehead from falling down in the living room.

I decided to play with them a little so I put my hand on my heart and wiped away fake tears and said in a weepy voice "Some friends you guys are, laughing at me when I needed a hug."

Alice who by this point had started driving stopped the car so quickly that we would have gone crashing through the windshield if we hadn't been wearing seat belts.

"What the hell pixie?"

Uh-oh Rose knows how much it pisses Alice off if someone calls her that.

But Alice wasn't even listening she quickly undid her seat belt and turned around to hug me and apologizing a thousand times per minute.

Rosalie just snickered and shook her pretty head while I calmed Alice down enough to get her driving again and we finally got to the school's parking lot.

Alice got out faster then either of us and yelled "Group Hug" so loudly that half the parking lot turned to stare at her.

Rose and I just stared at her like she was crazy and we wouldn't go anywhere near her clutches but she wasn't having any of that.

She grabbed us both in to a hug.

God that pixie is strong.

As soon as she released us Rosalie started scolding her about how she ruined her hair and etc, etc, etc.

I wasn't even paying attention because I was searching the parking lot for Edward.

I did _not _sing him a freaking song just to have him walk away from me damn it.

There were lots of people roaming around the crowded parking lot and it was difficult at first to distinguish a familiar face in the crowd but I finally spotted him.

He was leaning against his Volvo two cars down from us, hmm so he has a Volvo does he? Pfft it's got nothing on my truck, and staring right at…..me?

Huh?

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!

Damn did I just say that?

For shame.

Oh well at least no one else heard it.

Okay Bella calm down, no need to start hyperventilating right this instant. Maybe he's just looking at someone behind you.

I checked.

Nope he was defiantly looking at me.

Yay *sarcasm*

Just as I opened my mouth to say….something, anything he turned away and started talking to Jasper who I hadn't noticed up until this point.

Okay that was random.

What ever, like I care.

I turned to my friends seeing as they were finally done with their little argument.

We linked arms, me in the center, Rose on my right side and Alice on my left and walked into the school.

The funny thing is that the whole time we were walking I had this weird feeling that someone was staring at me.

God I am _so_ messed up.

The morning practically flew by and lunch finally came.

I was anxious to see Edward and hear what ingenious excuse he had come up with for his abrupt and rather rude departure last night.

We sat at our table at lunch with Jasper.

It's funny how quickly the table had become "our table" instead of "their table".

We had always looked at it like their table; it had been like that for over and now suddenly it was our table.

It was a radical change but it felt so entirely normal all the same.

Emmet and Rosalie were, as usual, making out and Alice was talking to Jasper who looked like he was hanging on to her every word.

They were both staring at each others eyes and unconsciously leaning towards each other.

Aww, I smiled.

They looked so peaceful and happy.

Edward still hadn't arrived yet so I pulled out my copy of Wuthering Heights and started reading it to pass the time.

I lost myself so entirely in the book that I didn't even notice the bell had rung signaling that lunch was over until Alice poked me.

I looked up in to the deep, green eyes of Edward.

I hadn't even noticed that he was sitting there staring at me.

I blushed but he still didn't look away.

Alice tapped me on the shoulder.

"What Alice?" I said just to distract myself.

She pointed at the almost empty cafeteria.

Rose and Emmet had already left.

"Right, thanks."

I closed my book and got up.

From the corner of my eye I saw Edward do the same.

We walked towards biology in complete silence.

He opened the door of the classroom for me like before and I thanked him.

We walked to our seats at the back the silence remained unbroken.

This silence was driving me crazy.

I couldn't take it anymore.

Did I do something to offend him?

Maybe he was critical because of my choice in literature?

Maybe he didn't like girls who read books?

Maybe I was just a big disappointment to what he had expected me to be.

Or maybe I'm just over thinking this a bit.


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry for the horribly late update. One word: GCE's. I think that will suffice for an excuse and you wont come after me with pitch forks. The song for this chapter is **_**All at once-The Fray**_**.**

**Just to be clear, Edwards parents are _not_ Esme and Carlisle. I know I said otherwise at first but this is now. His last name is Masen _not_ Cullen. **

**Enjoy.**

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Epov:

There I was staring at Bella who was up on stage singing a song for me. Telling me about herself, opening up. I had to admire her nerve; I'd never be able to do that.

But the fact that she was opening up made me uncomfortable.

I was scared of what would happen if I stayed. Would I open up to her? If yes would we be friends?

I didn't want that to happen though I couldn't help but notice that in some corner of my mind I wanted that to happen.

I did the only thing I could do then, I ran.

I texted Jasper that I was going home, happy that we hadn't carpooled or I'd have to get a cab.

I drove home without really paying attention to anything, driving came a second nature to me and I didn't really need to concentrate on what I was doing.

Before I knew it I was outside my house, unlocking the door, calling a hurried goodnight to my mother and father who were in the living room and going straight to my room.

I lay on my bed for a long time staring up at the ceiling, just thinking.

I hated running out on Bella like that but I was freaking out and who knows what I would have said to her if I had stayed.

I needed to get this situation under control, I could not, would not be her friend.

She was a good person and she didn't need a cynic like me around her.

She was kind too, I saw her at one of my support group meetings that I was forced to go to.

She was thankfully too far to recognize me but I knew it was her, she was shouting something about not being scared of a pixie and I recognized her voice.

She was with a friend so I knew she was there to support her.

She was an amazing person which was all the more reason for me to stay away from her; I didn't want to taint her happiness.

I don't think I got much sleep that night and with the resolve of keeping to myself I went to school, picked Jasper up on the way there and tried to ignore his talk about how great Alice Brandon is and his inquiries of why I left so abruptly.

I parked in an empty place and got out.

We were early and there was some time before school started so I leaned back against my car and tried not to look around for Bella.

I was starting to pay attention to what Jasper was saying when a shout of "Group Hug" made us turn around.

There was Alice hugging or rather squeezing the living daylights out of Bella and Emmet's girlfriend Rosalie.

My resolve crumbled as I couldn't help but stare at her, she looked like she had fallen recently and had a bump on her head.

I noted that she was very fragile and that made me turn to jasper and strike up a random conversation with him. This did not go unnoticed by him and though he raised his eyebrow at me he mercifully didn't comment.

I dreaded lunch and purposely went late but I saw her sitting there reading a book.

It was favorite and by the look of it had been read and re-read many times.

I stared at her all through lunch feeling that the very intensity of my stare would inform her of my presence but she was too immersed in the book.

She caught me looking and blushed; I had to stop myself from leaning in and stroking her cheek.

I led her to biology and she thanked me for holding the door open for her. I wanted to hear her voice again but I didn't know what to say.

When we were seated at our table however she was the one to speak.

Turning towards me she looked me right in the eyes before saying "What the hell is wrong with you?"

I found it hard to think straight with her looking at me like that. She was angry I think I say some hurt in her eyes too, or was it disappointment?

"Bella I cant be a good friend to you. It's better if we just avoid each other and pretend that yesterday night never happened"

This did not make her happy. She grew livid.

"Don't you think that it is up to me to decide whether you are a good friend or not?"

I had to admit she had a point there but I couldn't back down now, I was adamant.

"Listen to me…." But she didn't let me complete.

"No Edward _you_ listen to _me _if you don't want anything to do with me then fine, I'll back off. But I won't have you sit there and make pessimistic remarks about how you are not good for me."

"Swan, Masen" We both looked up and saw Mr. Banner glaring at us from the front of the classroom.

We were so wrapped up in our conversation that we didn't realize how loud we were.

"I don't care how important your little tête-à-tête is, you come here to study, Principals office both of you."

I didn't want Bella to get into trouble because of me. "But..."

He wasn't having any arguments about this. "Now!"

We picked up our bags and went outside without another word.

I headed straight for the parking lot forgetting that Bella was even there when she suddenly said "Where are you going?"

"Home" I said without turning around.

She stepped in front of me. "Do you want to be my friend? Tell me, without any sarcastic remarks, without anything, what you really want. I thought that you understood me, Alice and Rose are great but they don't really get me. It gets lonesome after awhile with no one to really talk to. I could use a friend."

She was looking at my face searching for an answer. I don't think she found it and when I didn't answer her she turned away with a sigh.

I don't know whether it was what she said or the way she said it but I wanted to comfort her, to tell her that I could be better for her. I didn't know if I was ready for her friendship but I couldn't leave her alone at any rate.

She came in Alice's car; this fact did not seem to occur to her yet.

"Let me drive you home"

"I can walk"

"Don't be silly it's too far to walk."

"I don't care I'll hitchhike."

The image of some faceless menacing stranger picking her up on the side of the road made me reach out and grab her arm. I could feel an electricity run through me and let go quickly.

"Bella please let me drive you"

"Fine"

Well that was easy. I thought I'd have to stand there arguing with her for her consent.

I walked her to my car and held the door open for her. "I can open the door for my self." Contempt laced every word.

I got in. "I was being a gentleman, its how I was raised." I started the car and drove in the direction of her house.

"Well next time save your_ gentlemanly_ act for someone else."

"Who says it's an act?"

"Chivalry's dead."

"Are you always this unyielding to appreciate other people's attributes"

"Are _you_ always so used to false praise for your non-existent attributes?"

"Do you always turn this blind eyed to all the positive things in life?"

"Edward keep your eyes on the road!"

I turned away from her, I didn't mean to fight with her but she looked so adorable when she was indignant that I couldn't help but provoke her.

"Why are you going so fast?"

I looked at the speed-o-meter. 108mph.

"This is fast?"

"Slow down." I chuckled.

"There is no one else on the road Bella I don't think we have the chance of running over anyone. Calm down."

"I'll calm down when you slam us against a tree and get us killed."

I slowed down because she was in earnest.

I stopped in front of the chiefs house and waited for her to get out while wishing that I had more time with her.

"How do you know where I live?"

"I doubt that there is anyone in town who doesn't know where the chief of police's house is."

She rolled her eyes at me. I suddenly got an idea. I leaned in just a bit, and said "I'll see you tomorrow then?"

The effect was instant her eyes grew unfocussed and she looked dazed. Shaking her head slightly, as if to clear her thoughts she got out of the car and walked away without a backward glance.


	11. When It Rains

**A/N: Shout out to **_**TwilightFanatic247**_** for reviewing. Song for this chapter is ****When It Rains by Paramore. **

**Read. Reweiw and Enjoy. **

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Bpov:

Edward Masen was an enigma but there were just too many pieces of the puzzle missing that I couldn't actually see the whole picture yet.

I wanted to figure him out, I really did, but he was sending me so many mixed signals.

I wanted to believe that he wanted to open up to me but it's hard to tell what's what with him.

I didn't understand what happened in the car, it was more like a roller coaster then anything.

He was laid back and easy one second then clamming up himself shut behind all of his walls.

He was so afraid to let anyone see him for who he really was that he isolated and alienated those around him, unintentionally of course.

We bickered like two year olds but that was the best part of all.

I felt so comfortable around him, there was a sense of familiarity like listening to an old song while randomly listening to the radio, one that you used to listen to and had probably forgotten about but it brings back so many memories.

Why he wanted to meet me tomorrow was a mystery that I had yet to solve and I ran different scenarios in my head while I was doing the laundry and making Charlie's dinner each of which steadily began to sound wilder and wilder until I threw back my head and growled in utter frustration.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Charlie's voice came floating over the game commentary.

Oh fish sticks I forgot he was home.

"Umm nothing dad I just cut myself while slicing vegetables..."

It sounded fake to me too but at least he didn't come into the kitchen to investigate further.

I was spared that.

I went back to thinking. I dint get much sleep that night and needless to say I looked like hell in the morning.

I texted Alice to not come and pick me up today and that I would drive myself to school being perfectly capable of doing so in spite of what she thought otherwise.

This had a three fold cause first I wouldn't have to argue with Alice if I texted her, I was in no mood for it after a sleepless night my nerves were on the edge.

Second I was planning on going to school early in order to talk to Edward before school and third it insured that I wouldn't have to face make over time from Alice if she saw the way I looked today.

I don't she would be able to do much at school what with classes and stuff.

I dressed without really noticing what I was changing into, skipped breakfast, grabbed my ipod and car keys which was collecting dust in my drawer and was out the door.

It was raining heavily as usual and I stood with my head up to the sky feeling the raindrops slide down my face.

I relished the feeling of being alive in that one moment, being able to feel the rain on my face and hearing the pitter patter of the rain drops.

I felt a smile creeping on my face.

Normally I didn't like the rain but today was different.

I stood there for just a minute longer before finally walking towards my car.

It was really pouring now.

I was right in front of the door of my car before I realized that someone was leaning against it.

The person was none other then the evasive Edward Masen.

I stared at him.

"What are you doing here?" I asked thoroughly confused.

"I said I'd see you tomorrow didn't I? Well its tomorrow."

He was look at his feet while talking but his eyes flashed up to my face now and again.

That sounded pathetic to me too and this was coming from the girl who was constantly with Alice and her pitiful puns.

"Can I drive you today?"

I was curious and consented with a lapse of my better judgment.

I wanted to get to know him, I wanted to be a part of his world whether it would be a big part or small one was entirely up to him. I was like a lost puppy willing to follow him anywhere he went.

I was toast_. _

_I should think so, I just compared myself to a puppy._

I smiled a little at the thought and followed him to his car. He opened the door for me and when I raised my eyebrow at him he just gave me a sheepish grin. My knees began to tremble slightly at that and I sat inside quickly to avoid falling on my face. He shut the door softly behind me and got into the car and pulled the car out of the driveway.

At first there was silence in the car and I listened to my iPod for there was nothing else to do.

"What are you listening to?" He asked.

I plugged in my IPod to his car as an answer and soon we were singing along to "We Will Rock You" by Queen. We were laughing by the time the song finished.

"I haven't heard that song in so long; I forgot how good it was." He said with a smile.

Darn that smile.

I sifted through my playlist and we sang along to every song.

We arrived at school later then I had perceived and shouting a hurried goodbye over my shoulder to him I ran to class before the bell could ring.

I just skidded to a stop in English; all wet and earned a withered look from the teacher at my efforts. Ignoring him I made a bee line towards Alice. As soon as the teacher turned his back on the class to write something on the board Alice nudged me.

I looked up.

"Is that a smile I see on your lips dear Bella or do my eyes deceive me? Surely you of all people know better then to be seen smiling of all things." She said, well she was observant I'll give her that.

"Cut it out Alice." I said though I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

"Ha I knew it. That is defiantly a smile. Spill Bella because if you wont I have the means to force it out of you."

I didn't want to know what those means were.

"It's nothing Alice. Can't I be happy without a cause?" I mocked being hurt but she was in earnest.

"No Bella it's just that you smile so seldom that I figured that it must have been something big."

Didn't I smile often?

I never noticed but it must be true because she was after all observant.

"Well I can't imagine a cause for it, I didn't get much sleep yesterday, skipped the most important meal of the day and was late for school because I was jamming to the songs on my playlist with Edward." I trailed off.

She didn't seem a bit surprised by the last part though and looked as though she had almost expected that answer.

"Oh come on Alice you can't possibly have seen that one coming."

She didn't get the chance to reply because the teacher who was very out of patience with us told us to shut up if we already knew the book and to let the rest of the class evaluate it in peace.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of his bed this morning." Alice said under her breathe, I sniggered.

Just before lunch Alice dragged me in to the nearest toilet and demanded that I take off my hoodie.

"Really Alice if you are planning to rape me you might have chosen a better location for it. People might hear my screams."

"Oh for heavens sakes Bella I don't have that much time to pretty you up for lunch." Informing me of this she proceeded to pull out an absurd quantity of makeup which by the looks of it was all brand new.

She couldn't possibly have fitted all that into her small book bag but this was Alice and miracles like that were possible for her.

Two girls who were applying lip gloss in the mirror eyed her enviously.

"I'd rather prefer to stay in my present state." But my appeal was silenced by a look from her.

I have no backbone to speak off.

I let her attack me with brushes and whatever else that she pleased and then with me in tow she hurried to the cafeteria.

Rosalie was sitting with Edward and Jasper at our table and Emmet was getting lunch.

Rosalie looked up as we neared the table. "Well about time…" But she caught site of my face "Wow Bella you look hot. I'd consider playing for the other team for you."

I rolled my eyes at her. Only Rosalie would say something like that.

Emmet who had come back soon enough to hear the last part of her speech said, "Don't make me fight you for her Belly bear, if you try to put some of your sexy moves on her I'm going to have to take you down."

Jasper let out a laugh at that which made Alice look at him like he was the only person in the room. I gave her a little push and she went and sat down next to him.

"I don't have moves Emmet, sexy or otherwise but if Rosalie chose me over you then I didn't say that I won't fight back." I winked at him. The expression on his face was priceless.

Edward had his back to me so he had yet to see me; in fact he had yet to notice anything around him at all. He seemed deep in thought.

Since there was no other seat left but the one next to Edward I was compelled to take it or remain standing. I think this had been planned by them all along but I can't say that I minded.

I sat down beside him trying to ignore the stares of everyone at the table.

"Really guys if you are going to stare how about trying to be a bit subtle about it?" I said irritated when they didn't take their eyes of me. They pretended to look at something else.

I sighed.

Jasper, who had been looking at Edward, coughed loudly.

His coughed seemed to do the trick and was successful at pulling him out of his reverie.

He looked around and caught Jasper's eye who inclined his head towards me. Jasper didn't think that I noticed but when he looked at me I rolled my eyes at him and he mouthed "Just trying to help." Smiling sheepishly.

Edward looked at me and it seemed as though he had just noticed me.

"Oh hello there Bella, I'm sorry I just zoned out for a bit." He said smiling.

Did I ever mention how much I hate that smile of his?

"Really why I didn't even notice, I thought this was your every day countenance. Sitting staring at nothing in particular and all." But I smiled to let him know that I was kidding.

"So I was thinking and I'll try to be your friend." Well that took me wholly by surprise.

I blinked at him as he waited for a reply.

What was I supposed to say? Thank you? Welcome aboard to the crazy train?

Going over what happened yesterday in my head I was more then a little embarrassed by what had passed.

What on earth had possessed me to beg him to be my friend?

Why had I so readily denounced Rosalie and Alice? Sure they were a pain in the neck but they were the best friends that I could ever hope for, they always knew what was best for me and would do anything in their power to help me.

What on earth? But maybe it wasn't any earthly power. Maybe it was Fate that had compelled me. Truth be told I had never had a strong belief in Fate but maybe…

"I see that I'm not the only one who has the tendency to zone out." Edward said.

"Oh yeah she does that all the time why you should have seen her just a few days ago….." I interrupted her before she could say anything more.

"Thank you Alice that will be enough." I said shooting her a glare.

"Aww lighten up Bella, you need some fun in your life." Emmet said then snapped his fingers "I know, you need a night out!"

I graoned.

I knew that Rosalie, Alice and Jasper too would be in on this.

"No way! Not again, the last time we had a night out I made a fool of myself in front of god knows how many drunken half brains and you ended up loosing a lot of money to this one," I said pointing to Alice.

She pouted at me "Pwease Bella, wont you do this for me?"

"Oh no I am not falling for that one again."

Soon everyone excluding Edward was trying to convince me go along with it.

"Come on darlin' it'll do you good" Said Jasper in that southern accent.

"But it's a school night!"

Emmet snorted at that one, "Knowing you, you would have already completed any work there is. Studying so much can't be good for you."

"But Charlie won't allow…"

But Alice cut me off, "Won't allow you to go out? You know I can convince him. He can't resist the Brandon charm"

"You know Alice I think I know someone else who can't resist the old Brandon charm."

Uh-oh I shouldn't have said that.

She glared at me, "And just what exactly do you mean by that?"

Edward intervened then. Giving me his best lopsided grin he said, "Come on Bella a night out couldn't do any harm."

"Traitor." I hissed at him narrowing my eyes,

"Yay, Bella's going" Alice said loud enough to make the whole cafeteria stare at her.

"I just can't see why you guys can't go without me."

"It just won't be the same" was Edwards reply.

Sweet mother of pearl, what had I gotten myself in to?


	12. Pretty Handsome Awkward

**A/N: Songs for this Chapter are as follows.**

**The one that Bella 'wrote' is Rain by Creed. **

**Jump Then Fall by Taylor Swift for BPOV**

**Song playing in Edwards's car: Company Calls by Death Cab for Cutie and Poetically Pathetic by Amber Pacific for EPOV.**

**Pretty Handsome Awkward by The Used for the Mike and Bella scene.**

**Big thank you to anyone who alerted/favorited my story and to that one anonymous review I got.**

**Read. Review. Enjoy. **

* * *

BPOV:

As it turns out fate was on my side for once and none of us got permission to go. Oh they begged and they pleaded with their parents, bargained and, in Alice's case, threw fits but none of it worked.

Edward, my newly designated friend, and I laughed ourselves silly over how they all behaved.

Emmet was all for rebellion and going out without permission but the idea was squashed effectively by Rosalie saying that they, at least, had to live with their parents for another year before they could move out.

Our friendship knew no bounds.

The only time I really enjoyed myself, the only time when I truly felt like was myself was when I was with Edward.

We learned to play guitars and Edward bought me my own acoustic guitar as a belated birthday present since he had missed my birthday.

Charlie eventually got used to his presence enough to leave me alone with him when he was working. We were inseparable.

"What are you thinking?" He asked.

I was lying on my bed strumming absentmindedly on my guitar; I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't even noticed that he had come in.

I smiled at him, "Charlie's at work again I suppose?"

He nodded.

"At least I wouldn't have to cook dinner for him." I said.

I got up and went to the window. I looked at the sky and saw that it was a cloudless night, Forks didn't get many of those. I couldn't see many stars but I saw that it was a full moon tonight.

I turned around, grabbed Edwards hand and raced down the stairs.

"Come on slow poke we're missing it." I said over my shoulder.

"Missing what?" he asked confused but I didn't reply, instead I went straight out the back door in to the yard and stopped.

I closed my eyes and raised my face to the sky feeling the moonlight on my face. I took a deep breath just to capture every inch of the night within me.

I felt Edwards's presence beside me.

I opened my eyes and smiled up at him, "It's a full moon see?"

He chuckled, "All this commotion for the moon? I'm starting to feel jealous of it."

"Yeah well god knows how many full moons like this I'd be able to enjoy. Might as well make the most of everyone of them." I said more to myself then to him, I was still lost in the magic of the night.

I suddenly realized what I had said and looked at him.

I hadn't told him about my cancer, somehow I felt that things would change for the worst once he knew. He already treated me like I was fragile without knowing about it.

I didn't want to know what he would be like if he knew.

Edward just looked confused though and said at last, "And you say I'm cryptic." I rolled my eyes at him. "So have you written anything new?" He asked me.

We both wrote our own songs.

Nothing says professionalism until you sing an original one of a kind song.

"Yeah I have actually, wait here." I ran back up to get my guitar. I sat cross legged in front of him on the grass. I strummed for a bit then began singing.

"_**Can you help me out?  
Can you let me a hand?  
It's safe to say that  
I'm stuck again**_

_**Trapped between this life and the light**_  
_**I just can't figure out**_  
_**How to make it right**_

_**A thousand times before**_  
_**I've wondered if there's something more**_  
_**Something more...**_

_**I feel it's gonna rain like this for days**_  
_**So let it rain down and wash everything away**_  
_**I hope that tomorrow the sun will shine**_  
_**With every tomorrow comes another life**_

_**I feel it's gonna rain**_  
_**For days and days**_  
_**I feel it's gonna rain**_

_**I tried to figure out**_  
_**I can understand**_  
_**What it means to live on again**_

_**Trapped between the truth and the consequence**_  
_**Nothings real**_  
_**Nothings making sense**_

_**A thousand times before**_  
_**I've wondered if there's something more**_  
_**Something more...**_

_**I feel it's gonna rain like this for days**_  
_**So let it rain down and wash everything away**_  
_**I hope that tomorrow the sun will shine**_  
_**I feel it's gonna rain like this**_  
_**Rain like this**_  
_**Rain like this**_

_**Fall down**_  
_**Wash away my yesterdays**_  
_**Fall down**_  
_**So let the rain fall down on me**_

_**I feel it's gonna rain like this for days**_  
_**Let it rain down and wash everything away**_  
_**I hope that tomorrow the sun will shine**_  
_**I feel it's gonna rain like this**_  
_**Rain like this**_  
_**Rain like this**_

_**I feel it's gonna rain like this**_  
_**Rain like this**_

_**I feel it's gonna rain like this**_  
_**I feel it's gonna rain..."**_

"Well?" I asked him once I had finished singing

"That was brilliant."

"Thanks."

Afterwards we were still outside, lying on the grass, my head on his chest as he pointed out star constellations to me.

"And that's Andromeda" He said.

I looked at the stars closely. "Are you sure? Because that looks a lot like Apus."

"No I'm sure its Andromeda."

I took hold of his hand and traced the shape for him "Its Apus see?"

He frowned and I laughed at him.

"Its okay you're allowed to be wrong sometimes."

I yawned and Edward immediately tried to get up and take me to my room.

"No stay." I said, "I'm not really tired."

"Oh no of course not, it's not like when a person yawns it indicates that they're sleepy or anything," I shot him an angry look.

"Fine I'll stay but you should know that it's unhealthy to sleep out doors." I snorted at him.

"Cavemen did it all the time."

But I didn't get to hear his reply because I was sinking deep into sub consciousness.

Sweet sweet oblivion.

I don't remember how long I slept but I was suddenly woken up by the ringing of my phone.

_**"Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair…."**_

Ugh I never realized how loud my phone was.

I sat up and felt that I was on my bed, Edward must have carried me upstairs once I was asleep.

I looked at me alarm clock 7a.m.

Oh no, school.

I picked up the phone knowing who it was without even looking at the caller ID.

"What Edward?"

"I just wanted to wake you up." I ran to the bathroom and tripped on my way there, "And you just tripped didn't you?"

"How did you know I was asleep?" I asked him annoyed.

I could get used to hearing the sound of his voice first thing in morning. Well technically the second thing since I'd hear my ringtone first.

"Well you were weren't you?"

"Mmmm" I replied while brushing my teeth.

"Be ready in fifteen minutes, I'm coming to pick you up."

By this time I had already rinsed my mouth, "Ill be ready in ten."

"Want to bet on that?"

"You're on Cullen." I hung up so that I could get ready faster but I already knew I'd win.

I was decently dressed and out the door in five minutes.

His car came screeching to a halt just a minute after I had stepped outside.

I smugly got into the car. "You were saying?"

"Well that makes you the first girl I've ever known to get ready in five minutes."

"Flattery wont get you anywhere, Now cough up!"

"We didn't decide what we were betting."

"Okay so since I win I get to decide what I get. I want you to back me up on not going when we go for a night out."

"When?"

"You know with Alice there isn't a question of IF." He laughed.

"Why don't you want to come anyway? I'll be there and it'll be no fun without you. Are you going to abandon me to them?" He pouted. There should be a law against pouting for people like him.

"I'll think about it, no promises though."

"You're coming." It wasn't a question, I knew I'd be going in the end anyway.

He had his IPOD already plugged in.

We had allotted alternate days for music selections. Today was Edwards's day and tomorrow would be mine. He was educating my taste in music as he put it. We had a lot of bands in common but on the other hand we inevitably got in to fights about which ones were the best.

"What song is this?" I asked him.

"It's Company Calls by Death Cab for Cutie."

"I like it."

Then I just remembered something.

"Oh crud, what's the date today Edward?"

"The twenty-eightieth, why?"

"We have to submit our biology project today!" I screeched. "You know the one we never even started?"

"Relax Bella I've got it under control."

"If you mean skipping class then I think I ought to think of something."

He chuckled, "Relax, munchkin I mean that I've completed it, all by myself, alone, and I deserve all the credit."

"Thanks Edward, I owe you one but when did you finish it? Come to think of it when did you even start? You should have told me, it was supposed to be a pair thing anyway."

"Well the next time you forget to do a project and I have to finish it all by myself I'll call you and you can help me alright?"

"Fine."

* * *

"Masen and Swan you two have out done yourself this time, A+" I tried not to look guilty as if I had contributed for that grade.

Once Mr. Banner turned away from us though I smiled at Edward.

"What did you write for that project? He was positively smitten by it."

"A little of this and little of that" He said vaguely.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say that you copied it from someone."

"Whose project do you think would have gotten an A+ if I had copied from them? Surely you don't mean Newton." I laughed.

Class was dismissed for the day and I only had Gym.

My book bag had for some reason or the other decided to rip open for the bottom sending all of my stuff tumbling down to the floor.

Edward usually walked me there but I told him to go to his next class since I'd be a while and I didn't want him to be late.

He reluctantly left me on my knees trying to gather all of my stuff.

I was in this predicament for quite some time and had managed to get most of the stuff off the floor and on to a near by desk when a hand shot down to help me.

I looked up into the eyes of none other then Mike Newton himself.

Oh for the love of God does he ever give up?

"Hey there Bella want some help?" He asked in what was supposed to be smooth but it was everything but.

"No thanks I'm good."

"Don't be silly everyone needs a little _help _now and then, let me _help_ you."

Eww did he just mean what I think he meant.

That's it; this fool needs to be taught a lesson.

So I made my eyes all big and innocent and said in a sickly sweet voice: "Sure of course you can help me Mike."

Just as he got close enough to me I brought my knee up and kicked him really hard where the sun don't shine.

He immediately fell to the floor

"No means no Newton, I will never, ever go out with the likes of you understood? You are pathetic wimpy little boy who needs to keep his distance. If I ever catch you eyeballing me again, well let's just say that what I gave you now is only a hint of what will happen to you."

And now for my dramatic exit, I laughed evilly, turned my heel, picked up my books and marched off towards the door.

I was out the door and closing it on poor Newton when I realized that Edward was here and had watched the whole show.

I took his hand and gave him a radiant smile, "Ready to go?" I asked.

He just nodded dumbfounded.

I dragged him to Gym when I saw that it was empty and that school was up for the day.

Payback must have taken longer then I had thought.

I shrugged and went to the parking lot followed by Edward.

I spotted Alice and Rose standing next to Emmet and Jasper leaning beside Alice's Porsche.

"Hey guys, you'll never guess what happened." I said when we were near enough to them. "I paid back Newton with interest."

Emmet high fived me, "So what did you do?" He asked.

I pointed to Mike who was making his way to his car walking in a way that left no doubt as to what I had done to him.

They all laughed.

"Oh Bella we've got some good news for you." Alice said with that grin that made me wonder how any news she had to give would be good to me in any way.

"Guess who finally agreed to let us go to a night out?"

"Oh no." I said, I looked over at Edward but he gave me that evil Just Suck It Up look.

"Oh yes." Said Rosalie.

"Its party time baby." Boomed Emmet.


End file.
